I made a mental note to not date or pursue a girl I feel half hearted about a year a go.
It’s difficult to change old habits and an identity you’re stuck on. It’s more difficult to humble yourself and re-learn. It’s also harder to be honest with yourself, your clients as a dating coach that you yourself are learning.
However, nobody gets it down 100% of the time. Furthermore, I’m all for practical results, if something isn’t working at the highest level, I ought to learn it. Secondly, when I go out with someone I feel so-so about, it’s a waste of my time, it’s a waste of her time and I’m not actually improving.
So, I became a beginner again. I’m looking to improve.
One of the metrics that I use (and along with 99.5% of men, any guy that tells you otherwise is lying) is physical attractiveness. I know it’s not ‘good’ to measure women by their physically attractiveness. However, it’s a sad truth of the human condition. However, do note I’ve chosen to pursue women with better personality, that I feel more comfortable and connected with over others that are more physically attractive in multiple situations.
So these days, I find myself going for the girls that everyone hits on in the immediate social surroundings. She’s the popular chick that everyone wants to hit on, just because she’s more physically attractive then the others.
I’m in Europe as I write this. It’s kind of cool when you’re going out in Europe, you’re the short Asian dude that gets her attention instead of all the Americans and Europeans because you decided to study this area of this life 6 years a go. So cheers to us nerds!
The 2 Biggest Sticking Points in MY Interactions That You Can Learn From
Okay, since I’m always seeking to improve. I want to detail my current process ‘sticking points’.
The problems I face now are:
Whilst traveling through Europe, I found myself in many situations where I could have settled for ‘second best’.
However, since I’m anal, Singaporean and have a need for perfection, I only want that hottest girl in that social situation. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t giving me and positive signals. It didn’t matter if she said she had a boyfriend. Fuck all of that, I’m not settling for anything else.
Okay, greed is good in some situations, and greed is not good in some situations. In the beginning of the night, where there are many options, it can be good to be greedy. However, towards the end of the night, you want to be smart, and invest in interactions where there is an expected return.
When you go for ‘second best’, you can also learn the whole process of the dating process, namely making her feel comfortable, getting her to invest in the interaction and taking her home.
Takeway point: There’s probably a girl who isn’t the hottest/ prettiest in the venue that’s interested in you. You should go for her, instead of only gunning for perfection.
Okay, whilst in Europe I do have an Asian inferiority complex that I affects me subconsciously. I went on 2 dates with attractive European women whilst traveling through Europe for 6 weeks, and generated a lot of positive interactions whilst out clubbing or pub crawling.
That, is a considerable feat in my opinion, since it’s my first time in Europe, and I’m all alone. However, I froze up whilst on dates on them. Subtlety, I was still putting them Europeans in a pedestal. You can argue all you want, but there’s a reason why white men have it easier in Asia. That’s another sad/ disgusting truth of the human condition.
The majority of my readers are from Singapore and are probably Asian men. If you want to date European women, especially beautiful European women, you’ll need to get desensitized to it. That means moving, living and working in a Western culture for months up to a go. Staying in Singapore or Asian cultures isn’t really going to help much.
It’s funny how European women I meet here do not exactly know how to communicate with me either. I can tell it from their eyes: Who’s this interesting Asian guy who’s exotic but I don’t exactly know how to communicate with him because he has small eyes and it’s my first time.
I don’t blame them either. The majority of them are young since I’ve been doing pub crawls in every city I go to, and the demographic of people you meet are mostly 18-23.
Okay, I find this a good learning process for me. I have informal articles one where I write reflections, journals in my own life:
- Economics Through a Bird Eye’s View – The Pursuit of Wealth
- Solo Travel in Europe – Learning How to Learn and Fundamentals
I have huge researched formal articles where I structure my mental models like:
I also have critiques on culture that I really enjoy writing about:
Most of all, I enjoy the introspection and journaling process. This way, I also won’t neglect the business and SEO aspect when I come up with helpful and detailed articles. Note that I won’t be posting ‘ detailed field reports’ on how many girls I dated or been with. This is public site and I have family and friends on Facebook.
The most of all, other than my self development process, the point of this blog is also to normalize the self improvement process of bettering yourself with women. It’s something that you should be proud, instead of something you shy away from.
Let me know what you think in the comments section. I read everything. You check out our the new site here.