I can’t help but remiscient about the short stint with my previous company. If it was even a wrong decision from the start to begin with. On some level, I felt it was a match made in heaven. I was so driven to help their company twenty times their revenue. However, I just needed some flexilibity and trust. One can help but fathom the multiple factors that lead to choices decisions, some good and some bad.
I was anxious, nervous and a sense of loss kicked in. The future was gone, all within a day. Expectations, misjudgment, projections on both ends. Ego is an interesting thing.
Yet, some times good intentions often don’t get met with good reactions. This is why we mask ourselves to the world and play a political game. One can argue that’s how us as social animals survive, play ball with others and make a living.
Should I be angry at myself? Or should I be angry at the source of my current state? Should I really take responsibility for everything? Some times, it’s not my fault right? William James argued that it’s always your responsibility, like it or not.
The past week has been frantic from changing the marketing channels to testing out Facebook advertising, to practicing sales pitches infront of my Mum. I wonder if she ever gets bored of it, seeing a son go in and out of ventures, dreaming up a future that might never exist, still trying, day by day, year by year with spurts of results here and there.
The Quote from Professor X
Ego kicks in, a passion project teaching dating and self help programs slowly morphs into ambitions into be rich. I also have a point to prove.
To prove to the ex bosses, colleagues and prove to the people that didn’t buy my ideas, didn’t believe in me, prove to all the teachers that said I wouldn’t amount to anything. How did the love of writing and teaching turned into a monsterous capitalistic pursuit?
However, I also understand capitalism is necessary. Writers have to eat. Entrepreneurs have bills and rent to pay.
I really like looking at movie scenes and learning life lessons from it. Here, in this scene, I particularly liked it when professor says: I can turn the switches on and off, I can flipped the switch, however, it all comes from here (points to his heart).
I also realized that entrepreneurship is no longer just about putting bread on the table on your own terms. It’s about meaning, legacy. It’s about seeing your own ideas, thrive and impact your own life and others. It’s not just about sales techniques, flipping the switch, it also about turning on what’s down there. To quote the professor.
Perhaps a lot of us make decision, choices in the heat of the moment. That’s true for us and others. There’s also research backing this up, namely the person X situation. That’s not a true reflection, judgment on anyone’s capabilities or personality.
This way, you can only forgive your own decisions, others and move on.