Over the years, Models by Mark Manson is often quoted as the cutting edge of all dating and relationships books out there.
I remembered reading up on one theory after another as a young pick up artist and never found anything solid that’s structured. There was never one theory or model that truly fitted in until I came across Mark Manson’s old website, Postmasculine, where he was still blogging specifically about sex and relationships as a dating coach.
Models by Mark Manson came in handy at the right time. I was swamped with pick up artist theories in my head. Those theories were too contradictory at many times. I remembered reading Models within a day, and it was like as if someone installed a USB into my mind, and downloaded a new piece of information that changed my world views for good.
It was a relief from all that confusing theories out there that contradicts each other. PUA terms such as ‘being in state’, ‘hooking’ and ‘plowing’ won’t be found in this book. Instead, you’ll find yourself reading much more normal terms being used such as: being charismatic, being socially connected and socially intelligent etc.
The Review of Models by Mark Manson
Models by Mark Manson gives a psychologically researched model of female attraction and gives structure on the confusing topic of pick up, dating and relationships. It is one of the few dating advice books that are actually backed by psychologically validated research.
The pick up artist community tends to go on and on and on one evolutionary psychology theory after another, having pointless debates on who’s alpha, and who’s beta. Completely forgetting the point that we’re here to meet, date and attract girls that we like into our lives.
This book isn’t like that. The main philosophy of the book is that all improvement is dependent on the self and you’re 100% responsible for your own dating results.
Instead of the run of the mill dating advice, the author encourages you to take a look at your emotional realities: past experiences, childhood, trauma and etc.
I liked the fact that the author points out that a man should self improve not to impress women, but because he cares about himself and getting the girls is a mere side effect of self improvement.
One other core concept of the book is about vulnerability and expressing your true thoughts and desires do girls that you’re attracted to.
The book focuses on lifestyle development instead of going to hardcore pick up artist route that’s recommended by many dating advice blogs.
The book goes indepth into the psychology of attraction, how to build an attractive lifestyle, conquer the fear of approaching women, and being an all-round charismatic individual. The author touches on life purpose, your occupation, building a lifestyle that you’re proud of pursuing your passions.
I also liked the structure of how he wrote the book. He breaks down the main three areas that you can continually improve upon. 1) Lifestyle. 2) Communication. 3) Anxiety. Improving your lifestyle will improve the quality of girls you meet, improving your communication skills how well you can convert the girls you meet to one who’s receptive to your advances, and lastly, conquering your anxiety will help you improve the number of girls you meet.
He also encourages of pursuing hobbies, passions, overcoming fears and designing your life into one that you’re proud of. The book also has practical tools and practices such as conversational mindsets and strategies. The author also goes into the psychology of anxiety and how to get over anxiety from a psychological standpoint.
The author also tries his best to give generic dating advice that’s applicable across all cultures, however, there are some examples stated in the book that will still come off weird or uncalibrated in Asian cultures, especially in Singapore or cultures that don’t have English as their first language.
The humour and style of the book are written in a Westernized, no fucks given, and philosophical style. One of the comedians recommended to model after in his book is Louis Ck. However, the Asian culture isn’t really receptive to his style of jokes.
For Eg. Louis CK makes jokes about how nobody gives a shit about babies and how you can probably video your baby on your iPhone and have 5 seconds of your asshole in it and nobody will probably notice. These jokes can come off as rude and stand-offish in Asian culture.
For the guy who’s not interested in psychology, evolutionary psychology or understanding nerdy topics. The book can be quite a handful. After all, it’s a 300 long book on how to date girls. With that being said, it’s a high-quality problem.
Caveat: The author got his success with women through the pick up artist community. However, the method he advocates and claimed to work better is through psychologically proven techniques that many psychologists use in their therapeutic practices.
Favourite Quotes from Models by Mark Manson
“You cannot be a powerful and life-changing presence of some people without being a joke or an embarrassment to others.”
“And ultimately, that’s what women want, a strong, independent, high-status male — a “doesn’t take shit from anybody” bad boy — but they want this bad boy to have a depth and a sensitivity that they only open up and show when they’re around her.”
“Intentions are always speaking ten times louder than your actual words. What are they saying?”
“Everybody on this planet shares a handful of universal emotional realities: ambition, shame, alienation, loneliness, achievement, regret, hardship, friendship, love, heartbreak. We’ve all experienced it. The facts change, the feelings are the same.”
Overall Review of Models by Mark Manson
You can see that the ‘bad’ of this book is merely high-quality problems.
I’ll recommend everyone that’s looking to consciously improve this area of their life, to go ahead and purchase this book. It’s 15 USD.
It’s a matured look at human attraction, relationships, and sex. It’s also written with a literary flair that’s fun to read. Over the years, as a dating coach, I’ve recommended this book to many of many male counterparts and they’ve come back to thank me.