I consider myself more emotionally intelligent than the average person walking down the street. However, I’m still flabbergasted at times at how poor I am at deciphering if a girl is interested or not. The signals girls give can be quite confusing and eccentric at times.
Some girls show it openly with strong eye contact, and some girls don’t. Some girls show it through being around you, some girls show it by shying away from you. How can you really tell if a girl likes you?
So, how can you tell if a girl likes you?
How to Tell if a Girl Likes You? – Indicators of Interest
The way to tell if a girl likes you is if she reciprocate your signs of interest or shows you sign of disinterest.
Indicators of positive interest can range from hair flicking, strong eye contact, her making excuses to spend time with you and her initiating physical touch with you. Some more overt interest is that she asks you for your number or invite you out with her friends. Or she asks you a lot of questions and seem genuinely interested in you. They are making the effort to flirt and make their interests known to you.
I personally find Asian girls unwilling to overtly express their interest in you. Some of them are going to steal glances at you, and look away. The majority of women will give you small signals to show they’re interested in you. It’s something you develop with experience. Whether it’s intentional or not, it doesn’t matter. In fact, most women, especially hot women, won’t initiate with you.
Furthermore, don’t be biased about indicators of interest. If a girl isn’t into you, then admit it, and move on. If you find yourself conjuring up reasons as to why she’s interested in you, then you’re probably on the wrong track.
Unreceptiveness can come in the form of wanting to bring her friend along when you ask her out for coffee. If you approach her at the bar and she tells you she wants to spend time with her friends, then she’s unreceptive.
It’s important to note that sexual/romantic attraction is fleeting. You might have a lot of attraction going for you with a girl at the night club and she totally forgets you the next day.
She’s Acting Quiet and Shy?
Now, let’s switch that up.
In the modern world of dating advice, it’s proposed the idea that having a great game can cause girls to feel quiet and shy around you, they’ll also expect you to lead in the interaction.
Many forward dating coaches and experts have declared: the biggest indicator of interest is that she’s still there with you. If a girl is standing beside you, whether she’s quiet or openly flirting, it’s assumed that she likes you. Why should she be there in the first place?
I used to think that a girl will always openly show that she likes you. Only then, I would only be able to move the interaction forward. That might be true for Western cultures, however, in Singapore, or Asian centric cultures, there are girls who’re really shy and reserved in showing affection.
I can’t count the number dates that I went out on that didn’t ‘feel right’. There weren’t any of the hair flicking or flirty touching. They’re often quiet and even a little introverted. I thought they were plain disinterested. Those dates went to nowhere. However, the fact that she was willing to spend a Saturday noon with me shows that she’s already interested. She just feels a little stifled around you.
To put things in perspective, think of the time when you were a teenager and you had this huge crush on this girl. Every time she walked by, you just felt stifled, and you don’t know what to say. You would just stand there, dumbfounded, silent and quiet. This is especially true if you’re well groomed, expressive and polarizing. Girls and other people will naturally feel stifled around you initially.
The Biggest Indicator of Interest: She’s There With You
When getting good with women, you’re often told to dress well and fix your body language.
You might think: I have done his work by investing in myself, why isn’t she dropping her panties right away? This may lead to you to have higher expectations of your interactions with girls and people. You might assume that just because you honed your social skills, others are able to match them at your level.
After all, what happened to the hours of learning conversational skills, watching comedy shows and the theories on how to attract a girl? Naturally, you’ll think that putting all this work will lead to a smooth sailing social interactions, right?
This isn’t often the case. On the flip side, from the girl’s point of view, she might perceive you as an attractive entity that she feels shy being around. No matter how many suits you purchase or the deodorant you wear, understand that girls are human’s beings too and get shy too, and that social interactions are imperfect by nature.
So, ultimately, what gives? Does it matter if she’s quiet and attentive or if she’s flirting openly with you back and forth? Here’s where experience and emotional intelligence kicks in. You got to understand that different girls react differently, as different people have different emotional needs.
One of the ways is to observe and listen to why she does or says something.
She could be shy and reserved around you but extraverted around her friends. So ask yourself, why is she only extraverted around her friends? Could she be shy around someone she’s interested in? Instead of seeing it as disinterest, that could be an indicator that she’s interested in you, she just feels shy around you.
On the flipside, some girls are shy in group settings, however, she feels extraverted around you and is able to open up to you. My ex girlfriend used to be really sweet around me. However, when we were around her friends, she was a lot more prim and proper, even cold to an extent. So why is that?
How to Really Know? Polarize the Interaction
The majority of girls you approach are going to fit into the neutral category when you approach her. She might give you mix signals. Typically, a man knows within a couple of seconds if he’s willing to sleep with a woman or not. Women aren’t like that. They are often quite unsure about a man and need to be swayed on way or another.
No matter the confusing mix signals, the best way forward is polarize the interaction. This means being more aggressive with the relationship. The goal with a woman giving you mix signals is force a woman to take an action that forces her to make a decision about how she feels about you. This can be as simple ask finally asking her out on a date, or being more physically aggressive with her to see how she responds.
You don’t want to waste time on women who are a time sink. You’re never going to change the mind of a women who’s not interested in you. You hear of stories of laying off for a half a year and then returning back with a new identity. More often than not, in my personal experience, it doesn’t work that way. You’re better off meeting someone else new.
This is why you’re recommended to pursue girls from your own values. You approach her because you want to. You talk to her because you want to. Whether she likes it or not, you’re still going to go express our desires openly. You’re going to ask her out because those are your desire, it doesn’t matter if she rejects you or not.
When being upfront and honest about our desires, some of the girls are going to say no. That’s fine, take the rejection on the chin. Furthermore, this saves us wasting so much time (and headache) thinking of what to text or say to her.
You can sit on the fences, debilitating your next move for months, or you can find out the truth. Not by trying to analyse the hundred and one indicators of interest, but by acting on them.