How to story tell? Learning how to spark conversations is an important skill and learning how to continue them in a dynamic manner is also equally important. Human beings, by nature, are enrapt by stories.
People in power, businessmen Eg. Donald Trump, brand builders, comedians, and politicians all use the art of storytelling to explain, persuade and influence others to their way of thinking.
Memorized stories and routines are popular among pick up artists. They often use interesting and outlandish stories to get a girl’s attention. Although this might work in the short run, they’ll eventually run out of words.
It’s far much better to use your own stories from your own values and experiences.
Simple 3 Step Process on How to Story Tell
I’m actually surprised how many Singaporeans aren’t comfortable with or aware of their own conversational habits. Learning how to tell a story in a structured, and interesting manner will make you a good communicator. Here’s a three-step process that anyone can use.
The Set Up
The set up gives context to the conflict of the story. It’s the general setting, such as the location and brief details of the story. The set up should be as short as possible. But it’s necessary to give the initial context and foundation for the follow-up of the complete story.
If you don’t set up your stories, you’ll come off to others as random in your conversations.
One simple one lined example of the “set up” would be this:
“I was attending my school orientation the other day. Whilst watching the orientation games, there was this girl that tripped and fell. I was an asshole about it and laughed a little.”
“I was thinking of going into the dating coach industry when I was 20-21″
It’s descriptive and gives background to the story.
The conflict is the part where you introduce the majority of the story. This should be the part that causes tension and expectancy. The content of the story needs to be captivating and hook others into wanting to know what will happen next. If there isn’t much conflict in the content of your stories, you will get the feeling that you ramble on a lot and others are not paying attention to you.
To continue to story from the set up:
“One of the most attractive girls in the whole of the camp took me by surprise and gave me a smack on my arm. I actually froze up! I froze up and walked away like an idiot! I should have just said something out of my mouth or smacked her back. But I didn’t. I retardedly froze up and walked away.”
“However, I never really felt right, that’s because I didn’t want myself worth to be judged on how many girls date, or anything like that. I also felt I wasn’t experienced enough to coach guys that might be twice my age.”
The Resolution/ Punchline
The resolution and the punchline are where you insert ‘the moral of the story’, the ‘punchline’ and the ‘joke’ to end off the story, or just closure for a generic story. People who don’t conclude their stories properly will often get blank stares when they’re finished speaking, or people will ask them “Yeah, and…?”
To end off the story with a punchline:
“Lesson learned! Never ever stand beside an attractive woman during orientation games.” (Joke)
“Nonetheless, I’ve decided to give it a shot, as long as I do my research, and stick to my values, and business values, I’m sure it’ll turn out alright.”
These are all true stories by the way.
Learning how to structure your conversations is helpful in sales presentations, networking events, casual conversations and other forms of social interactions. It can make or break an interaction with a stranger who’s an attractive girl that’s expecting you to lead in the conversation.
This is a conversational habit has helped me over the years with strangers, sales and persuading others in business and especially so in my dating life. Connecting with others in a meaningful and dynamic way is part of having emotional depth and intelligence.
Story Telling Examples
- Hippie Recollections with Ex-Girlfriend
I was 17, and I was the biggest countercultural 17-year-old among my peers. I listened to John Lennon, experimented a lot, and just felt that life was all too short to be worried about you know the practical stuff. I was at the playground near my house, and I was with this girl who I was dating at that point of time, and we sat and chatted for hours.
I went off about how this world is a screwed up place. How amazing it is to have our consciousness expanded into the universe. How little we seem to be as compared to the bigger stuff in life. I went off and ranted for a good hour. She listened. She listened well. I then got myself off this trance and stared into her eyes.
I said: “Were you even listening, do you understand what I said?”
She said: “No, I don’t, but I love how you say it.”
It got me a little frustrated because I wanted her to get the intellect principles behind the coming of conscious and you know, all of that hippie stuff. She didn’t. However, years later, looking back, she probably liked why I said it.
It was my passion, my vulnerability, my unconditionality.
- Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Passion with Date
Fast forward years later, and I found myself dating this other girl at this bar near my home. That point of time, I had hired a dating coach, hung out with other pick up artists, read quite a bit on ‘Game’ and all of that self-improvement stuff.
I was also into competitive martial arts and was preparing for a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament. I trained 3 times a week and obsessed over Youtube videos, tutorials and all of that. I was also quite good at it.
So off I went again, I went off on about how Jiu Jitsu is similar to human chess. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu was akin to facing death. That’s true by the way, being submitted in a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu match is the equivalent of dying, you’re either choked out, or you have a major limb broken.
I went on about how Brazilian Jiu Jitsu teaches everyone to be humble, as reality always pans out differently from out minds. I shared that my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu coach actually looks like a computer nerd, and he’s easily the top 20 most dangerous guys in Singapore if he actually took his martial arts skills to the streets.
I went on, and on.
Guess what? She loved it.