The prior step to hooking up is to get a girl home. In pick up artist terminology, it’s commonly known as the pull. So, how do you actually get a girl back to your place? Is there a step by step route map?
How to Take a Girl Home? – The Guide
This guide is to be used in conjunction with the first date guide, and how to hook up in Singapore guide. The first date guide helps you plan the outline of the date, how to move her closer to your place, the second guide emphasises on cultural nuances in Asia.
Decide, Commit and Lead
One of the most important aspects of how to get a girl home is A DECISION. It comes from the underlying social dynamic: if you don’t decide, commit and lead, she’ll end up looking being the one that has to lead, and she’s a slut for doing so.
You got to lead, lead and lead.
You got to decide that you want to get her to your place. Then commit to the following actions, and just execute on them.
Baby Step It
I remembered once it took me around 12 tries to get a girl up to my house, and into my room. I was starting out as a young Singapore pick up artist. I didn’t know better.
If you just met a girl, she’s going to resist your advances. You have to baby step it. This might be baby stepping it from the club to the taxi stand. This might be baby stepping her the move from the bar, to get her bag, and then follow you to the taxi stand, into the cab, chilling by the side at your swimming pool and up to your house.
Not making Her Feel like a Slut
Good game ALWAYS is about not making her feel like a slut for wanting to sleep with you.
This is especially so in Singapore, where it’s still a highly traditionalized society. If you want to increase your dating results, date multiple girls, you got to really fly under the radar, and make her feel really comfortable for sleeping with you before a committed relationship.
These assumptions should be adopted as genuine mind sets in your own life. For fucks sake, if all you really want to do is get into her pants, then don’t get into a relationship just for that.
- You do not exactly want a girlfriend and will not want one only if she’s the right girl
- She is amazing
- You are really attracted to her
- You do not like one night stands and do not like to sleep around, but you like spending time with her
Yes, I know a bunch of guys would get into a relationship, fuck her, and then leave. It’s up to your own values at this point of time. That’s against my values. I’d rather lose a girl, then to lie to myself (and her) just to get into her pants.
Some helpful mindsets you can adopt to not make her feel like a slut and relieve her of the pressure is:
- That she is the sexual aggressor/sexual predator, and she’s hitting on you
- That she is trying to get you to like her or trying to win you over (whether it be in the sense of attraction, acceptance, or validation).
- That both of you are going to sleep together, but only if she lives up to your standards and expectations.
Find an Excuse
I remembered once, I took honesty to a new level. I told some Malaysian girl I was dating: I think you’re hot, I want to have sex with you. I was trying out a radical honest approach back then. Despite saying it with the best of intentions, she took a cab back home almost immediately.
Good story though.
The key to getting her back to your place is to find a mere excuse to hang out with her at yours. I told the girl I dated in Japan: let’s grab a beer, I want to get a can, we can drink at mine. She agreed, and she didn’t even touch the beer. I actually thought she was AT least going to have a one can. Calories I guess.
Make Your Room Fun
In Singapore, I got my guitar and my boxing gloves. I used to playfully box girls to show that I’m cool with them in my room. I also purposely do it so that they’ll feel comfortable that I’m not inviting them to my room just to hook up or to have sex.
When I’m travelling, music helps a lot. Just simply take out your phone or your computer, and start playing some tunes.
Keep It Lighthearted and Fun
Keeping it lighted and fun is probably the most important aspect of how to get a girl home. Unless you’re already groping each other and she can’t wait to get into YOUR pants, she’s probably going to feel a little shy and nervous when she’s at your place.
For the Singaporean guys (99% of them who live with their parents) there’s the issue of your parents, your cat, your dog, your grand mother. I know, I’ve been there. She’s going to be put under the spotlight.
I always try to make sure that my parents are asleep before I get back to mine. Remember, the key is to always think of how to NOT let her feel like a ‘slut’.
Dealing with “Last Minute Resistance”
Some times, you get the oddball who is willing to go to yours but isn’t willing to sleep with you. I’ve had that happen to me 3-4 times. Some times, I get bugged out (I mean, why the fuck right?) some times, I just surrender to the fact that this Universe is weird.
The first step is to ALWAYS empathize with her. This means asking her if she’s comfortable with this. If she isn’t, ask her why? If it’s the boyfriend issue, then say: I’m not looking for a long term commitment now. I rather date you openly, than to lie to you that I want a relationship just to get into your pants.
Do it genuinely.
Either that, just chill back, and accept the fact that you aren’t going to get laid tonight. These days, if. the girl isn’t into me, I actually do get turned off. I just chill back, use my computer, do some work, write another article, or play my guitar.
Usually, you’ll have her over at 2-3am in the night. There won’t be any public transport home. I used to let girls stay over. However, these days, I value my sleep and rest time, and I’ll politely ask them to leave. It’s also a personal boundary of mine: if you aren’t interested, you should leave.
The “It Just Happened” Excuse
If you sleep with a girl, you get the Hi-5 from ‘society’ and your friends. If a girl sleeps with you, she gets slammed on and slut shamed by society and possibly her friends.
For it to happen, you got to understand this social nuance. It’s really important for it to make it seem that it ‘just happened’ between you and the girl. There was a period of time I was quite bummed out by the idea of this. It means that she doesn’t have to ‘responsible’ for her actions.
There’s no one logical route to making all of these happen. Some times there’s a lot of resistance, some times, there’s not a lot of resistance. The more liberal minded girls are able to make their own decisions in spite of society and their friend’s opinions. Those are the girl that I get along well with, and end up being with at the end of the day.
However, there’s a huge demographic of girls (especially traditional Singaporean girls) who are brought up in a traditional setting. They also have traditional beliefs about love and sex. You can’t change their
You can’t change someone’s values overnight. You might be able to influence them, but you definitely can’t change them. If you can’t her get home, it’s not that you suck, it’s just matter of incompatibility.
The only way to deal with it is through empathy, and a willingness to walk away.
Which is what a confident individual would do anyway.