How do you pick up and meet girls in Singapore? Can it be done? There’s an article by an infamous pick up artist lamenting that it’s a close to impossible task to pick up girls in Singapore.
Is that true?
Yes, the Singaporean culture is generally more closed off than Westernized cultures. Singaporean girls are generally harder to approach if you’re a complete stranger.
However, it can be done.
Hi, I’m Marcus Neo,
I’m founder of Marcus Social, dating coach for men and behavioral change consultant.
Tens and hundreds of clients, readers have used my material to better their dating and relationship lives. I’ve also been featured in multiple popular media platforms such as The Yellow Pages and GoodMenProject. I write no B.S, psychologically validated advice and step by step systems that work in the real world.
Now, let’s get you started.
How to Pick Up and Meet Girls in Singapore – The Ultimate Guide
From personal experience, Singaporeans, both men and women in general aren’t equipped with social skills to continue a conversation with another stranger. Hence, you’re going to get awkward silences and shifty eyes if you don’t know what you’re doing.
Singapore, after all, is an Asian value based society with people choosing to stick in highly knit social groups.
Step 1: Look Like a Friendly Stranger
The first step to approaching a girl in Singapore is to dress well.
The Singaporean culture is already a conservative one. You should ALWAYS try to make it as comfortable for her to talk to a stranger. Whilst most pick up artists obsess over fanciful lines or techniques when picking up girls, you should focus on making her feel comfortable.
You’re going to NEED to you look like a friendly stranger that she feels comfortable to meet and talk to.
This is non negotiable.
You don’t have to go overboard and go walking around shopping malls in suits. However, you got have a minimal sense of fashion. This means clean shirts, jeans and shoes that fit.
Step 2: How to Approach a Beautiful Stranger?
I often only go direct when I approach a girl in a day setting.
I’ll lightly walk to the girl and say:
“I know is this kind of random, but I thought you’re really cute and I just had to say Hi.”
Notice the social calibrator: ‘I know this is kind of random’
I always use this exact line when approaching girls in a day time setting.
- Body Language
Note: don’t go up to her abruptly. Don’t approach her from behind. If your a beginner, it’s best not to touch her at all. Just stand walk up beside her and plant yourself infront of her. This isn’t a hard or fast rule, as you get better you’ll be able to socially calibrate according to the social situation.
I know of friends that are more comfortable with going the indirect route, by asking her random questions or talking about the weather. I’m quite impatient by nature and I like getting my message across, so going direct is more congruent to my personality.
- Should You be Direct about Your Intentions?
It also depends on situation to situation. Sometimes, I go indirect. It can be making an observation on the book she’s reading while at the library, or making an observation about something or someone in the common environment that we’re in.
Next, you move on and perform a cold read:
“You look like you’re on the way to school. Nice shoes by the way. Let me guess, you must be a business student.”
She’s going to either correct you or agree with you at this point of time. It doesn’t matter. It gives you conversational material to work with.
“I study accounting, I don’t really enjoy it, but the practical side of me says that I got to do it, what about you, you’re passionate about business or you’re just following the path of a Singaporean girl?”
You should also attempt to tease her early on in the interaction to lighten your interaction up.
‘You’re probably going to lose money for your company. You totally don’t look like a business student.’
Note: do it with a smile of course.
This is an example of a direct approach, couple with the cold reading skillset, sprinkled with a light compliment. Light compliments and teasing helps ease the interaction.
Following up from her response, you can continue asking her questions or statements to relate to her. Free association and conversational improvisation skills are required to generate a continuous conversation. This requires practice. You can’t script or prepare humour, it’s practiced by free association and improvisation. I find it useful to stick to general principles such as teasing her about her stereotype that she fits into.
If you’re still confused, I created courses that has helped many others both Singaporean and people all over the world succeed in their dating life.
Step 3: Empathise with Her
When most people ask me how do I go about talking to beautiful strangers. I simply say it’s ’empathy’. They often give me confused look. Empathy? What’s that? How does it even work?
Basically, empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagining how he or she feels in that particularly situation.
Imagine this, she’s going about her day, rushing off to meet her friends, or some meeting, and you, an unknown stranger, rolls up to her, stops her, and tells her in her face that she’s cute.
You’ve just signalled that you invested in the prospect of dating her within a couple of minutes.
That’s a lot for a girl who barely knows you. This is especially so if you’re doing it in a public setting, or when she has her friends/ her parents around. You’re have to be empathetic in such situations and put yourself in her shoes.
So, before you actually tell her the actual reason why you’re approaching her, you should say:
- ‘I know this is really out of the blue’
- ‘This can be quite upfront… however…’
- ‘I know you’re feeling nervous…’
These are statements of empathy.
Secondly, you should also mirror her body language. If she looks shocked and slightly taken a back, you can take tiny step back and give her more personal space. Here’s a tip: a light smile helps a lot.
Such subtleties are different for everyone. Some guys have to be more aggressive, others got to be less aggressive. It’s also different for different girls you approach. Girls who are more shy are going to be a lot more taken a back from girls who gets approached regularly.
When starting out, you’re going to be really worried about lines, techniques, your body language, tonality, eye contact and etc. That’s normal.
However, as you progress. You’ll see approach a beautiful lady on the streets similar to being a big happy puppy talking to her. You’ll also find that getting rejected isn’t that bad after all. The majority of girls aren’t going to slap you in the face when you talk to them.
Step 4: Lead in Conversation
One caveat to picking up girls in Singapore is that you’re going to have to lead in conversation 99% of the time, whether be it in a day time setting or in the club. That’s because the majority of Singaporeans aren’t equipped with social skills to deal with a conversation with a stranger.
I’ve lived here for most of my life. I’m pretty sure I can give a well informed insight into this. She’s going to be dumbfounded that you approached her and she’s going to freeze up.
This means being able to generate conversations out of mid air that doesn’t make you look like you’re an interviewing her and simultaneously encourage her to open up and talk about herself.
This can be accomplished by learning the skillset of cold reading. Cold read is the art of generating statements out of cold air. Cold reading can also help you avoid looking like an interviewer. Over the years, I realized questions are inevitable in the Singaporean culture. Just making statements isn’t going to help. The general rule of thumb is to make a statement before asking her a question.
Cold reading isn’t just enough to form a deep conversation with a stranger, you’ll need to know how to:
- Tease her and make the situation light hearted on the spot
- Phrase your conversations in a dynamic way
- Connect emotionally with her on the spot
I recommending practicing and learning these conversational skillsets before going up to a random stranger. I do cover these skillsets in my courses and programs. However, for brevity’s sake, I’m not going to include all of this for this article.
Step 5: How to Get Her Number
For a solid interaction, you’re going to require at least 5 minutes with her to consider you as a potential romantic partner. I generally find that interactions that last lesser than 5 minutes don’t go anywhere for me. If she likes you and assuming you don’t screw it up, your conversation is going to naturally last more than 5 minutes.
There’s then the age old question of how to get a girl’s number?
Once you feel you’ve gone from stranger to acquaintances, you should ask her out for a date right there and then. Since you’ve already expressed interest upfront, it’s OKAY to ask her out for coffee. I always do that. You can also make a statement about it.
“You’re nice to talk to, let’s grab coffee some day.”
When she agrees, then ask for her number. There’s no perfect line to ask for her number. Just say:
‘Let’s keep in touch and let’s exchange contacts.’
I say this all the time, the words are superficial, it’s the intention underneath it that counts.
If she says no, then it’s alright as well. Just wish her well and move on. Rejection is part of the game.
Now, approaching girls you don’t know is an unconventional behaviour, especially so in Singapore. You’re not going to get rejected a lot, and you’re going to get quite a bit of shy or weird stares. However, it’s doable, I’ve done it, along with many other successful clients.
How to Meet Girls in Singapore without Picking Them Up?
If you’re looking to better your dating life and assuming you already have a strong network of social circle, you don’t really have to go out meeting women off the streets or the clubs.
You can focus on bettering your own psyche, build social skills, and leverage of your current demographics to meet women.
When I was in University, I barely bothered with meeting girls through this method. That’s because there were many social opportunities around me there was no need to go cold. You can participate in University activities, use networking sites such as Eventsbrite or Meet up, join interest groups or take part in after work drinks. There are many avenues.
However, when I became an entrepreneur, this skillset became extremely useful and important for me. You may also be stuck with friends who’ll doesn’t actively introduce you to other females, then you’ll need to master your social skills and actively be able to make new connections on the go.
From my personal experience, it’s the more physically attractive Singaporean women that are able to take social pressure more than the average looking ones. That’s because they’ve been hit on a million times since puberty. Note: I’m not making a sexist judgment here, it’s just a personal observation. Well, it’s a win-win! You go talk to an attractive lady, she’s able to handle that social pressure and have a conversation with you!
You should also only approach women that you’re genuinely attracted to, that’s because your intentions, authenticity and emotions will rub off in your interactions.
Lastly, I recommend guys who want to get their dating life handled to master your social skillsets, forget flashly pick up artist techniques, get the direct approach down and get it handled for life. Going direct and not waiting for someone to introduce someone to you is also freeing, saves time and cuts all the bullshit.