It’s said that if you can make a woman laugh, then you can get to laugh right into bed. Getting a girl to laugh isn’t a cure all for your dating woes, however, it can definitely help to a good extent.
Furthermore, a man that can laugh at himself and the world conveys a high level of confidence. He isn’t taking things too seriously or himself too seriously. He’s less invested in the world’s perception of him than his perception of himself. Compare this to someone who’s very serious and unable to laugh at himself or the world. This conveys that he is over invested in what others think of him and therefore is not confident.
Sometimes, you’re jokes will fall flat. I get this in almost every single social interaction when I mouth off something that everyone else is thinking. I either get a huge laugh or dead silence. However, it’s a risk I’m willing to take and it’s how I express myself. If you joke fall flats don’t try to laugh at yourself or make fun of yourself. Just act as if nothing happen and switch subjects.
Other than making a girl laugh, humour is also a way of making people feed comfortable around you, it’s a useful social skill to build.
How to Make a Girl Laugh?
Humor, at the core of it, is the the art of drawing connections between too completely unrelated ideas or objects that’s completely absurd. It’s a creative activity.
Simple Humor Techniques
This is the safest form of humor where you joke about something outside of you and the girl. Exaggeration has to be something absurd and non-logical.
- Louis Ck once joked about how MIT made a scientific study having new born babies watch pornography still their 50
- Teasing and Sarcasm
Teasing is when you make humorous comments that are derogatory about someone. You can tease her just about everything: about how fake her hair looks. Or how red her shoes are. Try to be creative with this. When she dresses up, you can tell her she looks like some cartoon character from some movie.
Pointer to note: sarcasm DOESN’T come off well in texting a girl. Sometimes, girls can be quite offended or don’t react well to some good-natured ribbing. This can be quite true for the Singaporean or Asian culture. It all depends on who you are with. Some girls react well to more derogatory teasing, and some girls appreciate genuine compliments. Mix it up.
For the Singaporean readers: One classic line I used to do is to associate a girl with an ‘ah lian’ but in a light hearted manner. An ‘ah lian’ is a stereotype for a girl who isn’t that intelligent who’s quite unkempt in the Singaporean context.
Teasing is also suppose to be fun. It’s normally said with a smile. The ideal tease creates a mixture of emotions in a girl: defensiveness yet happiness. The ideal reaction from her should be: oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that. However, she’s smiling and laughing at the same time.
Sarcasm is a darker form of humor than teasing and it doesn’t really work well with most of the girls, this is especially true with Asian girls, where Asian culture is a lot more reserved and sensitive. A lot of women won’t get sarcasitic humor. They’ll think you’re being serious or get confused. This comes off even worst on text. However, you’ll get the rare one or two that understands sarcasm and she’ll love you for it.
Teasing can be done along with the concept of common stereotypes in Singaporean society. Singaporean comedians like Kumar exploits it by going into Chinese, Malay and Indian stereotypes. One good one I often use is the good girl/ bad girl stereotypes.
This can be practiced by studying local comedians that perform to your local audiences. Stereotypes are poked fun at almost every comedy show. Comedians often poke fun at stereotypes, which can come off as humorous from time to time.
- Role of Swearing
Inserting a ‘fuck’ in your jokes can give you cheap laughs. I use to swear quite a bit during my teenage years and it has given me lots of laughs and at the same time weird stares from others.
Swear words can be used sparingly if there’s a right delivery and you know that the person that you’re communicating to is cool with little swear words here and there. With that being said, it’s uncool to just based your conversations with too many swear words. It just goes to show that you have a limited vocabulary.
Dropping an F-bomb in an already well timed joke can make it even funnier. However, dropping an F-Bomb in everything you say can make you come off as unsophisticated.
On a side note: Swearing should be used minimally in Singaporean/ Asian situations especially when there is elder family around.
The technique of misdirection is one of the most common and easiest forms of humor. Misdirection occurs when you begin to say something or tell a story which leads to the listener to believe you’re making one point, but you proceed to say something completely different.
One of the most common and easiest forms of humor is misdirection. Misdirection occurs when you begin to say something or tell a story which leads the listener to believe you’re making one point.
- Role Plays
The technique of roleplays is taken right out of the pick up artist textbooks.
They’re playful and often really useful to spice up a stale interaction. Choose between: girlfriend/ wife. You either break up or get together with her. You either divorce or marry her. It’s really not that complicated. However, it works great and it can come off as something fresh for the girl.
I used to do: I’ll like to adopt you as my little sister. However, this rarely works for me anymore. Girls often take it in a wrong way where they’ll think I’m not interested in her.
- Wordplay and Puns
Wordplay is similar to misdirection. However, wordplay practices misdirection by using words that have different meanings. Puns and wordplays are even a rarer form of appreciated humor than sarcasm. They tend to be really intellectual in nature. You’ll find little women who’ll appreciate them.
‘Surely, you can’t be serious!’
‘I am serious. And please, don’t call me Shirley.’
Note on Self Deprecating Humor
I still do quite a bit of self deprecating humour. Sometimes, it’s alright to laugh at yourself. However, this can come off as unconfident. If you’re making fun of yourself and putting yourself down in order to get a laugh, this might demonstrate that you’re someone who is highly invested in other people’s reaction
Then again, this varies from situation to situation. If you’re going out with a girl who’s really shy around you. Putting yourself down and laughing at yourself can help her loosen up and open up.
If you’re someone who uses self depreciating humour a lot. It’s recommended that you take the same self deprecating humor and turn them on the girls that you’re talking to. Instead of making fun of yourself to get a laugh or smoothen out the interaction, make fun of the girl you’re interacting with.
Knowing the Lines ain’t Enough: Timing & Expression
Knowing the jokes or the lines isn’t enough. There’s an art to telling jokes or dropping an F-bomb. You got to pay attention to delivery, timing and facial expressions. These techniques unfortunately, can’t be taught in a book.
The way to learn this is to watch your favourite comedians and watch their stand up routines. Take note of how they interact with the audience, their style of humor, their routines, how they tell a story and how they nail a punchline.
I remembered when I first started reading up on pick up advice, I would stay up on Youtube to watch videos after videos of stand up comedy. I started off listening to comedians like Chris Rock, Louis CK and George Carlin. I also attended a few improvisation classes. You can find these classes on MeetUp.Com or just Google them. They are often quite affordable.
Humor in Westernized Cultures as Compared to Asian Culture
The Singaporean/Asian form of humor is a lot different from the Westernized culture. I noticed this when got feedback from a friend who my jokes are often highly sarcastic and dark in nature. I find dark humour much more accepted in Western cultures. Not everyone responds well to such form of humour. .
Singaporean culture is interesting in a sense that there’s a myriad of races and religion living cohesively under one civilization. It’s safe to say that you should avoid jokes that are sensitive to religion. However, it’s okay to step across the line in a humorous, lighted manner as opposed to an insulting manner.
I think that humor style you should go for that will help in increasing your dating opportunities should be universal humor. That is: Humor that is relatable to all people, regardless of language or race. I think Louis Ck does a good job at it within certain themes. He’s able to express the nuances of humanity in a humorous way.
On the flipside, Louis Ck has this self-depreciating style of humor that doesn’t suit well for many personalities (including mine). There’s something be said about coming off as confident and not putting yourself down too much just to get laughs in. Girls want a confident man that don’t poke fun at himself just to get laughs or fit in.
Being Funny as Cure all?
Being able to make a girl laugh isn’t a cure all for your problems when attracting and seducing women. Some naturally funny men overly rely on their ability to make a girl laugh and actually over do it. Instead of being sexually confident men, they end up as the entertainers constantly seeking laughs from girls.
If you’re great at making a girl laugh and enjoy a company, you can get confused about actually thinking that that’s seducing her. After all, she’s smiling and laughing, ‘game’ must be working right?
Humor can be useful if used in conjunction with leading her to an interaction in a dominant way and pushing things physically with her. Remember the push pull dynamic? You aren’t moving forward in your interactions unless you’re connecting with her physically and emotionally.
As a dating coach, I would recommended that you work on what you’re poor at. If you’re generally charismatic and are able to crack a joke or two, then humor isn’t your problem. If you’re humorous but not your interactions seem to go nowhere, then you got to work on being more physical and sexually confident with a girl.