Hooking up in with local Singaporeans girls is often lamented as a close to impossible feat in the pick up artist community.
I often get feedback from BOTH guys are and aren’t in the Singapore pick up artist community that hooking up with traditional homegrown Singaporean girl is a difficult task.
It’s true to a certain extent, from personal experience. It’s much harder to approach a traditional Singaporean Chinese girl from the streets, hold a conversation, get her number, go out on a date and end up hooking up with her.
However, I don’t like missing out on opportunities and I genuinely do enjoy dating some of the more reserved Singaporean next door kind of girl. If you come from a mind frame you’re patient, empathetic enough, you might just influence her with your more liberal values.
How to Hook up in Singapore – The Guide
It’s a numbers game, the more times you try, the better more leads you got, the higher chance of success.
There are also certain principles that can help you better understand how to hook up in Singapore. This Asian centric culture.
1) Take all Responsibility Away From Her
One of the defining philosophies that was born out of the pick up artist community is the idea that you got to understand the ‘slut factor’.
Basically, if a girl hooks up with a guy, she’s a slut. If a guy hooks up with a girl, he’s a ‘boss’. It’s a double standard by modern society… that makes sex, dating and relationships harder.
This means: If she makes a move on you, she’s a slut for doing so. This is why girls in the Singaporean or Asian culture are going to be more passive when letting you know that she’s interested in you.
You got to come from a mind frame that if she hooks up with you, it’s your doings and your actions. It’s not her fault nor responsibility at all. If you take all responsibility away from her, she’s allowed to blame you or external circumstances when you make your sexual advances. She’s able to justify it to her friends, and society. Her friends that probably judge her but are equally jealous that she hooked up with an awesome guy like you
Guys that got ‘good game’ go to lengths to make sure she’s not perceived as a slut. They are socially aware of what’s happening around them. This can mean only kissing her when her friends aren’t around, knowing when to make the right excuses and being empathetic about her current mood and feelings.
2) Use The Right Language
One thing that I noticed about myself back in the day is that I needed to justify why I was touching a girl. This is probably because I started I was afraid of my own sexuality as a male.
When hooking up with a girl. There’s no need to say: Let’s Fuck.
I know, in this blog I advocate honesty. However, not radical honesty. It just shows you aren’t socially intelligent. If you’re verbalising everything, you’re also showing a lack of vulnerability. Which is unattractive and a turn off for her. It shows that you aren’t able to put yourself out there emotionally and have to somewhat verbalise and justify your sexual advances.
There’s no reason to say why and when you’re going to touch a girl. Furthermore, flirting with girls physically is shown to turn girls on. Girls have the desire to be desired. So, touching her and demonstrating your desire for her is a good thing. There’s no need to be ashamed about that.
Find a Perfect Excuse to Get her to Yours
Assuming you’re on your third date, that you guys are already making out, and the next logical step is sex. It’s time to take her home.
I remembered that I would awkwardly drive my Dad’s car to my place without asking her if she wants so to come after a date near a bar at my place. The girls would normally just silently comply.
The general rule of getting her back to yours isn’t to ask her. It’s to lead. It’s to make it subtle and socially intelligent. Finding an excuse to get her back to yours is a socially intelligent way to do it. I recommend that you stock up on alcohol at yours and then ask her over the get drinks.
I remembered that in Japan I asked the Japanese girl I was dating if she want’s to get a beer at mine. She agreed, and she barely touched the beer.
These days, I’ll merely go: ‘Let’s hang out at mine’ and lead.
I also noticed that Singaporeans guys are often faced with the problem of staying with their parents. I recommend ironing out this problem out with your parents. It’s the matured thing to do.
Be Empathetic about Hooking Up and Talk Openly about It
The term last minute resistance or ‘LMR’ is commonly used in the pick up artist community.
It’s when girls resist last minute when she’s already in your room or bed. I’ve had these situations three-four times throughout my dating career. The solution to this isn’t to use some technique to trick her into sleeping with you. There are ways to play on people’s fear of loss and abandonment, however I don’t recommend that.
It’s vulnerability. It is to empathize with her. I always stress this as a Singapore dating coach. Ask her if she’s comfortable with you. Is she looking for a long term relationship? Does she feel uncomfortable to hook up before a relationship/marriage? What are her values?
When I was dating a Japanese girl in Tokyo, I had her over and she said: ‘We’re not going to have sex’. I immediately replied: ‘Yup, we aren’t.’ I was totally chill about it. To be honest, it’s a turn off to me when sex is forced or manipulated. Guess what, we end up doing it anyways.
Hooking Up in Tightly Knitted Social Circles
If you’re looking to hook up with a friend of a friend of a friend. Then keeping your mouth shut about dating her is going to help lower the cost of her hooking up with you. Modern society shames a girl for sex. This is especially true for an Asian cultured society like Singapore. She doesn’t want others around her and you to know about you guys dating.
I used to purposely take a girl out of University grounds just for the sole purpose of not letting others know that we’re dating.
Hooking up through social circles are the majority’s strategies to get laid. I find that girls are often much more receptive with guys that they know from friends of friends. This is also observed in many social psychological studies.
One way to get good at this is to have a wide social circle of friends. However, if you’re like me, a lone wolf that doesn’t enjoy the mindless politics in social circles, then you might want to learn how to approach girls in the day and night clubs.
Okay, assuming the sex really isn’t going to happen. It’s past midnight and are you going to let her stay?
I used to be alright with girls coming over and not wanting to hook up. I even rationalized it as ‘at least I got someone to hug to sleep.’ That was perhaps my values at that point in time. However, these days, if nothing is going to go down, I’ll politely ask her to leave.
Closing Thoughts on How to Hook up in Singapore
Understanding how to hook up in Singapore with local Singaporean girls is going to take time and patience. If you’re not into long term relationships, be prepared to minimally time, effort and emotions into the dating game. This means going for 2-3 dates before hitting home run.
This means going extra lengths showing her that you care for her as a human being and not as a sex object.
That’s ultimately, good game.