Mark Twain was quoted saying that individuals that don’t dress well have no influence on society. For sake of this blog, let’s paraphrase that and say that men that don’t dress well have no influence over the opposite sex. How to dress well then?
Learning how to dress well for men is one of the quick fixes you can get when improving their dating life. Fashion and fitness are the closest you’ll get to a magic pill in this area of your life.
There’re many guys that take courses after course but fail time and time again to improve this area of their life. This is because they neglect how they dress.
Make Dressing Well a Habit
Psychological research shows that having dressing well increases a person’s self-esteem. Ever felt good in a suit? Well, that proves it. Dressing well is a habit that the 21st-century man should cultivate in his daily behavior and habits.
Clothes should not only be seen as an outlet for expression but the actual building of an identity. I was How can men mold into an identity by the clothes?
Forget Mum’s and Dad’s Recommendations: Dress Yourself
In the Singaporean culture is that many guys still don’t buy their own clothes. They let their parents do the shopping and choosing for them. Your parents are 2 generations older than you, how is their fashion sense going to be suited to your generation? Furthermore, if your parents are still making choices for you, then you’re probably a big baby that has no ownership of your own life choices.
Now, let’s get into the nitty gritty.
Fit is King: Choose Fit over Brand
Fit is king. This rule applies to all fashion advice. I always choose fit over every other factor when shopping for clothes. This includes design, price and brand.
Going for something more fitting that will show off your body contours. Choose fit over brand or how expensive the clothes are. Girls won’t be looking at the brands of your clothes, they’ll be looking at the fit, the patterns and how well put together your outfit is.
Remember, fit is king.
I have survived well with 10 dollars Uniqlo shirts from H&M. You can get black, blue, white and gray basic tees. Get a blazer, and you’re good to go for many occasions both formal and casual. It’s one of my favourite looks in hot and sunny Singapore. It’s malleable and can be used for many events.
Learning how to dress and keeping your identity flexible will open up your options to many
Quality Over Quantity: The Minimal Wardrobe
I always aim to make my wardrobe as minimalistic as possible. Focus on quality over quantity. The trick here is to get quality outerwear such as jackets and blazers and you can mix them with v-necks or crew neck tee shirts underneath.
The trick here is to purchase a few pieces of quality outerwear such as jackets and blazers and you can mix them with v-necks or crew neck tee shirts underneath. Spend a little bit more on those quality pieces, and then mix them with cheaper basic pieces. Quality pieces can include your blazer, formal pants, leather jacket, raw denim jeans and your bags. You’ll still come off as well dressed, sophisticated and blending these
You’ll can come off as well dressed, sophisticated by blending these high-quality pieces with cheaper more basic ones. You can also accessorise with necklaces and chains underneath them. Personally, I like my style quick and easy, hence I don’t use any accessories. It’s up to you.
Personally, I like my style quick and easy, hence I don’t use any accessories. It’s completely up to your.
If you don’t really have much cash, I recommend getting your jeans and basic tee shirts from Uniqlo. The material isn’t that all bad and the basic Tee shirts fit well and are affordable. Shoes wise, you got to invest a little and get a quality pair from Zara or Pedro.
If you’re working, get a couple of fitting formal shirts from G2000 or Zara. You can blend them with your denim jeans and sneakers to get the formal casual look.
You should also invest a pair of formal wear: blazer and pants. You can then use these pieces to leverage a smart casual look with your jeans and Tee shirts. It’s a unique look in Singapore that doesn’t really look too try hard either.
Go to H&M or Uniqlo and get a basic tee for 10 bucks. Then get dark blue fitting jeans for around 70 and a pair of shows. It’ll cost you less than 150SGD all together and you’ll look like a million bucks.
I’d like to add in that the weather here is hot and humid all year round. You might want to take that into consideration when choosing your clothes. I don’t own any winter clothes, and I also normally don’t wear out my blazers and jackets unless I’m out at night.
Dress to Your Demographics and Personality.
If you’re a student, then showing up in business suits to classes is not going to make any sense. It’s important to dress to your personality and the social event you’re showing up for. I enjoy dressing down a lot. However, don’t be too shabby.
I often see guys showing up in slippers in my University classes. You’re not going to be attracting any ladies with that outlook. Put in some effort. Get a pair of raw denim jeans, a basic belt and a pair of sneakers. That will do. It’s not that hard.
It’s not that hard.
The pick up artist industry often encourages the idea of going over the top and showing up with necklaces and fanciful hates. What it fails to point out is that what you wear should be to tailor to your personality and your daily life.
If you’re a rockstar like Johnny Depp, then, by all means, you can go over the top with all the accessories. However, if you’re a broke ass student, then you should reconsider showing up to class with a suit.
Picking Neutral Colours
If you stick to neutral colours like white, grey, light blue, navy, green, olive. You’re going to find yourself easier to match and fit clothes. However, you’re going to give up a little of variety with such a wardrobe. If you’re passionate about fashion, then you should can further your research about colours.
I don’t really care for the variety of colours as I’m always on the go and I prefer my wardrobe to be easy and quick. I literally own 5-6 white basic tee shirts, and I blend them with other pieces in my wardrobe.
How to Dress more Masculine in Asian Cultures
I grew up in Singapore. Singapore is a metropolis with many cultures, subcultures, interest groups, and religion enmeshed in this tiny island. There’s not one particular overall fashion trend or culture. You’re free to choose your identity and play with it in anyway that you’d like.
Growing up in Singapore you’ll tend to notice the trends in fashion and dressing amongst your peers and society. There’s a minority that obsessed over the feminine Japanese rock band look. They’re the K-POP people and then there are the ones opting for a Japanese look. I personally think that the general Singaporean male population dress neutral and that’s good.
There are trends in Singapore that’s focused on Korean and Japanese pop styles that are popular amongst some Singaporeans. In my opinion, these trends look really feminine and will work against you if you’re attempting to be more attractive to girls.
It may seem more popular or trendy to follow the trends, but if what you’re gunning for is masculinity and being more polarizing to girls, then I recommend going for more a more masculine style.
You’re going to stick out more in social situations and you’ll almost come off as a rebel or a ‘bad boy’. However, this attracting girls thing is by nature polarizing and controversial, so deal with it. The masculine look comprises of more monotoned dressing styles as compared to the boy bands and their patterns.
- Facial hair is a plus point when it comes to achieving a more masculine look
- Overall, if you notice the little nuances of body language, you’ll see that the Korean movie stars have a more masculine body language, taking up more space, and not really smiling like a cheery school boy as compared to the guys in the boy band.
In my late teens and early twenties, I kept my wardrobe towards the lighter side choosing to go with bright colors such as light blue, pink and purple. I remembered one of my girlfriends commented that I should change to a darker color.
It’s good to play around with more ‘feminine’ colors such as brighter colors when you have a masculine face. I have a babyface so darker colors such as gray, black and navy blue would help me project a more masculine look.
Understand The Different Archetypes
I personally have never ventured too deeply into any of them 3, even as a young Singapore pick up artist. Being too refined makes you boring and stand off-ish. Being too rugged makes you a square. Being too rakish gets you outlawed in a traditional Asian culture.
For business meetings, I dress towards the refined archetype. I take on the identity of someone who gets down to business and the numbers. At a social event or perhaps on a date, I dress down towards the rakish element: Putting on a leather casual jacket and raw denim jeans. When hitting the gym or a mixed martial arts workout, the rugged element comes into play.
Let’s take a look at the 3 types of masculine archetypes. These are all attractive archetypes to women.
Men at their core, by virtue of our genetic makeup, have this element of rugged masculinity in us.
Singapore, a high commercialized culture that focuses on economic growth at all costs tends to forget the physical. Our culture is one of standing behind computers, screens, and phones. We’ve often forgotten what it feels like to build and move.
The rugged is the sportsman, the athlete, the fighter. The one who prides himself on his physical attributes. He is willing to get down and dirty. He’s able to fix spoilt pipes, climb up ladders and work the drill. He’s able to bend the surroundings by his pure physical will. The
This is a stark comparison between the rakish element and the refined element. He is the musician, writer, marketer, and entertainer. He is also highly emotionally intelligent and gets what he wants from the world through social competence.
The rake is often frowned upon by traditional (read: outdated) Asian values.
Traditional Asian values emphasize on a career, a family, and playing by the rules of culture. The rake is the outlaw, the casanova, and isn’t too concerned about society standards than the standards he sets on his own.
I chanced upon an article by Masculine Style a couple of years ago that touched on how to dress with masculinity. I found the archetypes and identities described in the article interesting, and I could somehow relate to the identities played out in my own life.
The majority of pick up artists start out as the Rake. When you’re improving your social skills with women, you’re focused on mainly the psychology of girls. However, as you move on, you start thinking about commitment, business and building your own tribe. Instead of moving freely in and out of social groups, you decide to start your own.
That is the Rakish archetype.
When you’re floating in and out of social circles. You got to give up some power, to get this influence. You’ll be known as the social guy, the guy that gets along well with everyone. The guy that’s able to blend into social situations, identities, subcultures effortlessly.
This requires empathy. The pick up artists that focus on honing emotional intelligence and social skills usually end up with this route.
The Tribe Leader: The Refined Archetype
This archetype is for the men that work in a corporate environment. He draws a reasonable salary and can afford the minimal luxuries of life such as clubs, spas and the yearly holiday. He also prides himself on corporate achievements in his corporate ladder.
Currently playing out the archetype and identity of the rake. I don’t have a particular social group that I am the ‘CEO’ of. Power doesn’t interest me, at least for my earlier twenties.
However, I realized that if I’m going to be building a business and committed to a single demographic, for a longer period of time, this cannot be ignored. Furthermore, I’m individualist, outspoken, and often far thinking rather than ‘in the moment’.
However, as I grow older, I start thinking about commitment, business and building my own tribe. Instead of moving freely in and out of social groups, I’m leaning towards starting my own/
I could be suited to a different archetype: the tribe leader.
However, I face difficulties in the transition. The tribe leader is often respected and known for his external status. The nice suits, the house, the business connections, political power and influence.
I don’t have ‘external status’. I don’t flaunt my wealth, I don’t flaunt my connections, I don’t flaunt nice cars/
When you’re improving your social skills with women, you’re focused on mainly the psychology of girls. You’re focused on winning the influence, connecting deeply, emotionally with others.
You start understand social circles, you might start participating in different demographics, expanding your social circle, hooking up with different girls from different walks of life. This is the tribe leader archetype.
However, if you want to be a tribe leader, you’re going to have to sacrifice on variety.
You got to focus on a core identity. You got to establish your power in your niches. For Eg. If you want to be a power house in finance, that means spending years cultivate authority, respect and power in that particular pursuit. If you want to be a power house in politics, that means spending years cultivating authority, respect and power in that arena.
The leader has less influence outside his own arena, however, he has absolute authority and power in his own circles.
I’m also quite frustrated for the lack of respect that helms from the lack of ‘external success’. Modern society is a vulgar one. You’re going to be objectified by your wealth and social status, at a certain point. This is one of the reasons why I started this dating coach project.
To build a core identity, to build my own tribe.
Choose Your Path
Learning how to dress well isn’t hard. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Fashion, just like any other skillset, comes with time and practice. One of the best ways to learn fast is to hang out with fashionable girls and get their opinion. Girls, most of the time, are better than guys with dress sense.
I repeat again, you don’t want your Mum dressing you. She wants you to look like a good proper kid that makes the grades in school. You want to look edgy and sexual. That’ll get you the stares on the streets.
You can also pour through internet guides like this one, magazines, photos and invent your own style. If you’re really clueless about it, then perhaps you can hire me as a dating coach, and I’ll personally help you out with your style.
So, are you a free loving rake or a dominant CEO styled tribe leader? What’s at your core? Or could you have a balance of both?
Both are different expressions of masculinity. There’s no right or wrong.
It’s up to you to paint this canvas of the minds of women, and society of this world.