Every time I hear someone mention the word ‘game’ when it comes to picking up girls, it creeps me out. ‘Hey bro, are you going to Somerset to day game?’. When did meeting girls become something that you can treat like an actual video game? The term day game is thrown around in groups chats consisting of Singapore pick up artists, with group meet ups and events specifically to ‘game’.
So, What is Day Game?
For the non pick up artists, let me explain. Day game is a term coined by the PUA community to go out in a daytime setting to pick up girls. It’s borne from the idea that you can stop a girl in her tracks whilst she’s going along her day, go up to her, and create an opportunity to get to know her.
There’s the direct approach, where you go up and let her know your intentions directly, and there’s the indirect approach, where you don’t hit on her outrightly, but perhaps chat her up by complimenting her or starting a random conversation.
This is often practiced in shopping malls, streets and the popular shopping districts. The Singaporeans like going out to Orchard Road and Somerset to pick up girls in Singapore.
Come On, It’s 2017, We’re Still Using the Word ‘Sarge?’
I got to address this issue.
From time to time, I hear to word sarge pop up. ‘Let’s go sarge later tonight’.
The term sarge is used to describe the action of going out with your buddies to pick up girls. It has as creepy connotation to it. I got nothing against terminology, however, the term ‘sarge’ is often used in conjunction to treat social interactions like an object.
Basically, you’re going out with other guys for the SOLE purpose of picking up girls. Come on, seriously? There’s nothing more that irks me when guys hang out with me just for the pure say of approaching girls. When you hang out with me, I expect you to treat me like a human being, and not just some dude that you go out with JUST to ‘game’.
It’s no wonder why guys that get into this suck at relationships with both guys and girls.
Furthermore, even major dating advice companies like Real Social Dynamics are leaning towards self development. It’s no longer the old days of going out to ‘sarge’, breaking down social interactions frame by frame, writing lay reports or dissecting texts from girls.
Should You be Going out to Day Game in Singapore?
Now, let’s go back on topic. If you’re getting into this getting with good with girls endeavour. Should you be out practicing day game in Singapore?
The answer is Yes.
I recently wrote a how to pick up girls in Singapore guide. Approaching girls in the day is one of the best ways to expand your dating opportunities.
Furthermore, she doesn’t know you, you don’t know her friends and she doesn’t know yours, there are low implications involved. Getting good at cold approaches in a day time setting is also advocated by many other dating coaches and pick up coaches.
The Difference Between Day Game and Approaching an Attracting Stranger
There’s a difference between practicing ‘day game’ and approaching an attractive stranger from a place of vulnerability. In the former, you’re relying on your scripted lines and techniques. You’re treating your social interactions like an object. If she says this, counter with this, and that. If she shit tests you, be free from outcome. It’s slimy stuff.
If you’re self invested in yourself and want to come from a place of true confidence, you’re going to approach her out of curiosity and vulnerability. This means coming from a place of courage and empathy. That’s what you want to be gunning for in the long run.
Long term true confidence.
Furthermore, you don’t want to be using terms like ‘day game’ and ‘sarge’ amongst your friends. You want to make meeting girls relatable and normal.
Imagine walking down the streets of Singapore with a group of friends and you see a girl you really want to talk to. You’re not going to turn to your friends and say: ‘It’s DAY GAME time!’ Right? They’re going to find you socially awkward and weird.
You’re going to just confidently tell your friends you find her attractive and you’re going to talk to her.
Then off you go.
Should You Have Wings when ‘Day Gaming’?
One other thing I noticed when going out with guys from the Singapore community is that they get the whole idea of wingmanship WRONG. They approach girls in with their ‘sarging buddies’.
The game plan is this: One of them will distract the other girl, the other will distract the Mum, and the last one will isolate the target. What the fuck?
Girls aren’t stupid. They see through your intentions clearly. Furthermore, you’re treating the process of meeting girls as if you’re going to a war. Social interactions should be fun and light hearted.
It shouldn’t be seen as something to be tackled objectively. Coming from this mind frame won’t work either way. Singapore has a relatively conservative Asian culture, and you guys swooping in like that like a SWAT team is going to get negative responses.
Like I’ve mentioned, getting good at this in Singapore requires sensitivity and empathy. Two values that aren’t really promoted in pick up artist land. This unique perspective is something I plan to address as a Singapore dating coach. Yeah, you heard me: sensitivity and empathy.
So, destroy your ideas about approaching girls, isolating her from her friends and all of that wingmanship theory. You don’t need wings in ‘day game’. If she’s with her friends, just say acknowledge her friends and turn your attention back to her. The same rule applies if she’s with her Mum, cat or dog.
You don’t need to apologise, distract or isolate anyone to meet an attractive girl walking down the streets.
Why would a truly confident man need that?
You just need you.