It’s not uncommon to hear say that Singaporean women are superficial or materialistic, only willing to date men who are well off financially.
Are Singaporean girls really superficial and materialistic, or is just a projection of our insecurities or something that is ingrained in our culture? I once wrote a post Singaporean men being losers and not sexually desirable, so, I thought I did one on Singaporeans women.
Your Insecurities? Or is Singaporean Women Superficial by Nature?
I did some Googling around, found a Quora thread on that, and some research on this question. Surprise, surprise, there’s an article that goes to show YES, Singaporean girls are materialistic, most of them stating that they account for finances when looking for a husband or a long term relationship.
From an evolutionary standpoint, yes, it makes perfect sense for females to want to be with males that has wealth and resources. Just like how males want to be with females that has positive indicators of the ability to give birth: nice hair, wide hips and etc. However, there’s research that goes to show that people choose mates not just because they want to fuck each other brains out, or give birth to a healthy offspring, but also other factors such as values, emotional attachment and etc.
So what gives?
Your Insecurities? Or Culture?
You want to get a girlfriend? Work hard, earn money, get a respectable job, be nice. Our parents are always telling us to be ‘useful to society’, to get a job, to get a degree and all of that. Not only these beliefs and worldviews hurt us life wise, it hurts us when it comes to dating success with girls in general.
These beliefs are often the results of the Singaporean cultural narrative: where success in life is measured by grades, money and status. Invisible cultural scripts that have been told by our culture and society, and stories that we continue to tell ourselves.
The Invisible Scripts that Influences You
I grew up in a traditional Asian, Singaporean culture family where I was told that if I did not do well in school, get a respectable degree, get a respectable job, if not I was a failure. I had a friend who told me she would on consider dating guys from a local University. In Singapore culture, there’s a huge measurement of success based on how well off financially you are.
Cultural and mainstream influence us everyday. In movies and the drama serials, they all tell us the same narrative: The people with money gets the vagina.
The result… you get tons of Singaporean men year after year, chasing degrees, cars, the next condominium, all… to get the… vagina. I can’t deny it, it affects me as well.
However, how much of this dating issue is actually a monetary issue?
How about looks, popularity, intelligence and social status? Do girls in Singapore care about it? I think they do. We all do to a certain extent. I’m sure a lot of Singaporeans men face the same problems, and it’s a projection of our insecurities. Secondly, I often hear guys being insecure about dating up. They can’t date Singaporean women who is smarter than them, more qualified than them or earn more than them.
Looks is one of the factors that girls look at, as an indicator of status. If you dress poorly and don’t shower, don’t expect to getting laid anytime soon. It’s not girls being superficial, it’s you being a bum. However, looks isn’t the ONLY determinant if a girl is willing to go out on a date with you. From, experience wise, it rarely is.
I know of men that are well off financially but can’t land a date for nuts. I know guys that draw a handsome close 5 figure salary, drive a Mercedez Benz, but can’t get a quality date with a lady to save his life. The misconstrued perception that you need lots of money to attract women is flawed. The research shows that if you display the behaviors of someone who potentially might become rich, famous, or successful, you’re equally attractive as someone who is already rich, famous or successful.
I think the good looks issue is something that affects not only Singaporean culture but the entire planet. It’s mainstream culture influence that tells us that we need the 6 pac abs to get girls. There were months I felt I was never ready to go out and talk to girls until I achieved a certain body weight. This was despite being in relative alright body shape. Good looks help, but not having good looks doesn’t hurt either. There are countless occasions where you’ve seen not so physically attractive guys, with attractive women right?
If you get a bunch of Singaporean women who are materialistic and a bunch of Singaporean men that are insecure. Through this combination of these two factors, you get an ugly mesh up of Singaporean guys projecting their insecurities about money to girls who are… materialistic? That sounds like quite a messed up Singaporean dating culture.
Unfortunately, until the Singaporean culture matures and learn how to define itself not through traditional metrics of success, this is going to be the status quo.